Randon Entries:

Einstein, where are you?
TIME: 11:14 a.m.

DATE: Monday, Jan. 05, 2004



I am feeling: <


One Year ago Today Quotes or thoughts:
Last Year's Entry Link:




TODAY'S HEADLINES, HILARIOUS JUNK, AND SIDE STORIES

I haven't wrote in a long long time and I just didnt' want to write a here I am entry and nothing much is happening here. Still nothing is happening as far as doing something. I am here in a state of depression and stressful and I just hate being this way..

I just feel like a jigsaw puzzle and I am trying to put myself together and I start putting my pieces together until I get down to 20 pieces and I realize that the the pieces that I have left can not cover the hole and I lost pieces on the way. And now I am here with this whole and pieces missing.

Maybe I am humpy Dumpy...But at least all the kings men came to help Humpy Dumpy but I just don't feel like there is anybody there...

I am here and I didn't think I would be this place that I am now titled Loserville. How come there are some people just have the life where they go to college, graduate, get a good job, and then get married. They have the life that was map out. Here I am at this loserville without a map or a key and I am going around in circles and I don't have much gas left in my system.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

And I feel like I am at the bottom or the black sheep of the family. My brother, Mikul, is at a great job and he is doing great.

My sister, Jenifer, is doing great, have her place of her own, Samantha, and a great job. She is a Manager and have great responsibilities and is doing great. And she is beautiful, So beautiful.

And then there is my step brother that is tall and thin. And he is musically talented even though he only picks up his saxaphone once a year.

And then there is my cousin that is thin and have beautiful hair...

And then there is me........Short, fat, Thin and grey hair, bad eyes, And can't even graduate or do anything good in life........YEp That is me...

And this weekend, I just realize how much of a bad pack rat I am...I am so terrible. I found stuff I had since I was in 8th Grade. Yep..If you thought you were a packrat then you need to see my room. Don't have a life and collect stupid stuff....Yep that is me...

and I have good intentions about stuff but they start backfire on me. Sometimes I am my own enemy...Yep, I do stupid stuff. For example, I had my Thank you Cards all printed out and everything and my familys cards and well I realize that I put the return label and the stamps on each other places. And I didn't realize it until the stamps are sticker down as well as return labels as well. GO ME>... Or my sister, Jenifer's present. I was making sure that it is not out of stock and I receive an email that said that it is out of stock....Gosh what a loser I am. IF I would have thought about the present earlier, maybe it won't be out of stock and she would have it. Maybe if I had a brain, I would figure out that this is what my brother wants or my mom wants and I wouldn't have to send it so late. Or maybe if I remember to get some stinkin stamps because I can't use the other ones (the mistake above) and maybe I would send things out...But right now I am sitting here with these problems and just don't know what to do...

I come to work and it is stressful and I come home where my room is now a huge mess of me de cluttering my life and make my life easier and that is very stressful and depressing and then I realize that I forgot about those stinkin stamps so I am stress and then I realize I need to do some homework for my school. Then my dad or my stepmom says those sly comments that may not mean anything to anybody else but they mean a lot to me...Good example, my stepmom just make a comment that "Maybe" I might be finished before May. THanks I am glad that somebody does not think I can do anything in life.

And so I get stress out and depressed with this room the way it is and my class and then I get so tired and realize that I have not eat anything in a long time. I guess this is a good diet for me. Stress and depress land. But instead I take a shower and then I lay in bed thinking of all my stress and my depression and I make sure that the lights are out so I don't see this packrat I am. I barely get any sleep at all. Maybe three hours and that is it and then I wake up very tired and wish that I have time to do some homework or debug myself but I am so tired that I get ready and go to work....And then the whole cycle starts again...And I just can't stop this whole madness....

Sometimes I think that there is some force that is there just trying to find ways for me to be stress about and they are laughing at every pothole in life I could ever trip in. If this is some kind of joke and I am a walking Chaplin, here is a middle finger point to you. Right now, in life, it might be a joke but I am not laughing.....

And there were other troubles as well. This New Year is not going as plan/



Take a Step Backwards - Go ON Forward

1 Any cool comments about this wacky entry!



Picture, Quote, JOke, or crazy thing for today:




Backup Five Steps

I will be here tomorrow - Wednesday, Feb. 09, 2005

Gosh I think I am able to breath - Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2004

That is my relative, ziggy - Monday, Nov. 01, 2004

no bright eyes but always bushy tail - Thursday, Oct. 28, 2004

litte update from me.... - Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004

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