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Bits and Pieces - Second edition - 03/17/03
TIME: 10:44 p.m.

DATE: Monday, Mar. 17, 2003



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TODAY'S HEADLINES, HILARIOUS JUNK, AND SIDE STORIES

Bits and Pieces: Episode two 03/17/03

Weird news around the world. Some deal with just crazy stuff and others deal with beer in honor of St.Patrick's day.

01. A Los Angeles recycler that catered to homeless alcoholics by exchanging the bottles and cans they dug out of people's trash for coupons for a nearby liquor store has been shut down as a nuisance, city officials said on Friday.

Neighbors had complained since 1997 about the transients who loitered around the recycling center, K&C Recycling, saying they were urinating in public, digging through dumpsters and taking drugs, City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo said. "The story here sounds like fiction, but it is fact," Delgadillo said. "The concept of protecting the environment became hideously distorted as transients were given coupons for a liquor store instead of money for their cans and bottles." Authorities initially had some trouble shutting down the site because no Los Angeles city ordinance prohibits exchanging recyclable items for coupons. "It's okay to give out coupons but they were only for use at the liquor store," Eric Moses, a spokesman for Delgadillo, said. "The allegation is that they weren't buying Ho-Hos (packaged snacks), they were buying 40 ouncers." The neighborhood prosecutor researched the city ordinance regulating recycling centers and found that the center had not been issued a local permit, Delgadillo said. Residents testified at public hearings and signed declarations about the activities that took place around the recycling center, and got the center's license revoked.

02. Short Measures Leaves Bitter Taste - British consumers are losing millions of pounds a year because landlords are failing to pour full pints of beer, the government's spending watchdog said on Friday.

A National Audit Office report found pubs were saving the equivalent of 200 million pints of beer worth 130 million pounds at wholesale prices each year. "Accuracy...is key to ensuring that the products we buy every day are not being sold in short weight or short measure," NAO chief Sir John Bourne said in a statement. Bourne called for laws to be modernized to tackle inaccurate measures. His office estimates there are problems with five percent of equipment used to sell goods such as food, drink and petrol. British pressure group The Campaign for Real Ale backed the call for tighter regulation. "Consumers are paying through the nose for beer they are not receiving," said CAMRA's Mike Benner. The debate over froth on a pint of beer has been raging for generations. Brewers say it stops pints from being overfilled and that landlords are happy to top up glasses. More than 18 million pints of beer are sold daily in Britain's 65,000 pubs, trade associations say.

03. Faced with the ever-growing threat of war, Ali Hadith stocked up his Baghdad home with food, drink and a couple of handguns in case of trouble.

Then he took his bride of three months out on the town -- for a game of bingo. "You have to do something to forget the news," Hadith said as he and his wife sat in a former British officers' club in Baghdad with dozens of other Iraqis, playing a game brought to Iraq) during British rule in the last century. "We hate this news. (War) today, tomorrow, after one week, after two weeks. You are always waiting for it," he said. Around 100 people sat in the cavernous hall of the Alwiyah Club on Saturday night, just as Iraqi leaders declared martial law to confront an expected U.S.-British invasion, checking off numbers on wooden bingo boards with intense concentration. Club members said it was usually packed with four times as many people, but some were staying away as military conflict appeared increasingly inevitable. "People think the war is coming on Monday. Usually this place is full," said Abdullah, a 58-year-old retired engineer. "If we were afraid we would not come here," he added. "We prepared some food, some water. In general, we don't worry." The Alwiyah Club, founded in 1924 for the British officers and administrators who ran the country after World War One, still echoes with the legacy of years of British rule. As well as bingo, the club's 40,000 members -- who include Saddam's ministers -- can play billiards, or a quiet game of bridge in the club's former chapel. "Bridge is a club tradition since the days of the English," said Alwiyah's director, Athir al-Qaysi.

But links with a country which has been hostile to the Iraqi government for more than a decade are mostly played down. "I didn't know they play bingo in Britain," said Abdullah.

04. A television advertisement in which a dog crawls out of a man's mouth has been pulled after attracting record complaints, Britain's advertising watchdog said on Monday.

The ad for Wrigley's X.Cite chewing gum has drawn nearly 700 complaints from viewers who said it was offensive and frightened their children. "Some people said it made them feel physically sick," said a spokeswoman for the Independent Television Commission, which regulates TV adverts. The commercial, which by computer wizardry shows a small dog coming out of a man's mouth after a heavy night, was intended to highlight the problem of morning-after "dog breath." Wrigley apologized to viewers in a statement. "We have taken the decision to replace the advertisement," the company said. The previous British record, of 544 complaints, was held by a 1998 TV ad for Levi's jeans which featured a dead hamster.

05. United States battalion quartermasters were handing out baby wipes on Monday to the soldiers before they head into combat. Sanitary wipes are not normally thought of as essential equipment for hardened soldiers likely to attack Iraq in the coming days. But most troops will spend weeks in sweltering heat and dust with no showers and the modern military has found the perfume-impregnated tissues ideal for maintaining hygiene. A special delivery of toilet paper will ensure other bodily needs are taken care of. Each ground soldier in the massive British and U.S. invasion force is being given two rolls for their knapsack. "You know something must be about to happen when they start handing out this stuff," said one U.S. marine lieutenant colonel, looking at his consignment of yellow containers decorated with the image of a smiling infant.

06. Little Crazy tales: � A man sued his doctor because he survived his cancer longer than the doctor predicted.

� Two robbers were in the process of their crime when one changed his mind and arrested the other.

� A woman had her husband's ashes made into an egg timer when he died so he could still "help" in the kitchen.

� Only 68 of 200 Anglican priests polled could name all Ten Commandments, but half said they believed in space aliens.

07. What ever the economic and political situation, you've got to admit, America still leads the world in legal insanity.

Not claims of, but actual. For example, One Andrea Warren, 17, ex-cheerleadering captain, is suing her high school because she lost her captain's pompoms, demoted for drinking and smoking. So rather than getting a life, she's going to court, because, says her lawyer, she was in a bad crowd at the time, but is a good girl now. So the school should pay her US$50,000 damages and let her do that twirling thing again.

08. It's not really news, but somehow the headline is just too good to ignore - Police in Vancourver (Canada) are reportedly looking for a wheelchair-using shoplifter, who stole 10 pairs of trousers and six leather jackets from a Gap store. He fled the scene in a stolen vehicle. Witnesses were described as confident he had no legs, presumably a fairly distinguishing characteristic.

He was however sucessful in his getway, unlike the less-than-cunning shoplifter in Florida spotted lifting US$900 of goods. While running away from security guards just as fast as her little legs would take her, she spotted a car with a door open. And leapt inside, screaming "Help me, help me". The two off-duty police officers - doing some Xmas shopping at the time - were of course happy to help

09. Making a claim on British television in March that should alarm all News of the Weird readers, James Watson (co-discoverer of the structure of DNA) said he saw no reason why "stupidity" could not some day be corrected by gene therapy just as other "disorders" are now being addressed. "If you're really stupid, I would call that a disease," he said, on the Channel 4 documentary "DNA." "I'd like to get rid of (stupidity)."

10. And lastly........Here are some laws that are still on the books so KY people at bath yourself or I could lock you up.....

Pacific Grove, California- It causes a misdemeanor if you kill or threaten a butterfly

Ventura County, California- Cats or dogs can't have sex without a permit.

Sarasota, Florida- It is illegal to wear swimwear while singing a public place.

Chicago, Illinois- A hat pin is considered a concealed weapon.

Michigan- It is illegal for a woman to cut her hair without her husband's consent.

Minnesota- It is illegal to mock skunks.

Brainerd, Minnesota- Every man must grow a beard

Ohio- It is illegal to sell beer while wearing a Santa Claus suit, even if you are a dog.

Seattle, Washington- It is illegal to sell lollipops. Suckers are fine.

Virginia- All bathtubs must be outside, not in the house.

Toronto, Canada- It is illegal to ride a streetcar on Sunday after eating garlic.

Cleveland, Ohio- It is illegal to capture mice without a hunting license.

Arizona- It is illegal to hunt camels.

Kentucky- It is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.

Louisana- It is illegal to rob a bank, and then shoot the teller with a water pistol.

Indiana- It is prohibited to bathe in the winter.

Kentucky- You must take a bath at least once a year.

Alaska- It is illegal to look at a moose from a flying vehicle.

Atlanta, Georgia- is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.

Idaho- It is forbidden by law for one citizen to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.

New York State- It is illegal to shoot a rabbit from a trolley car.

Somalia, Africa- It is illegal to carry old gum on the tip of you nose.

New Jersey- It is illegal to slurp soup.

Arkansas- A man is allowed to beat his wife, but no more than once a month.

Chicago, Illinois- It is illegal for a woman that weighs 200 pounds to ride horses in shorts.

Miami, Florida- It is illegal for a man to wear a strapless gown.

Mesquite, Texas- It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.

Connecticut- It is illegal to walk across the street on your hands.

Avignon, France- It is illegal for a flying saucer to land in the city.

North Carolina- You cannot sell cotton lint or cotton seed at night.

New York- It is illegal to do anything against the law.

Hartford, Connecticut- It is illegal to plant a tree in the street.

Christiansburg, Virginia- It is illegal to spit.

Provincetown, Massachusetts- it's illegal to sell suntan oil until after noon on Sunday.

San Fransisco- It is illegal to beat a rug in front of you house.

11. Jerusalem- After a man suffered through the tough death of his seventy-year-old mother, he kept her body cold in a refrigerator until science could bring her back to life. "It was hard for me, but it was her wish." claimed the man

12. Charlottesville, Virginia- Federal Agents searched an man's house because they believed he possessed illegal drugs. They searched everywhere, and were about to assume that he moved, when they heard a noise coming from the frige. They looked inside and there was the man, calmly drinking a soda.

13. Sandusky, Ohio- A man was charged with negligent assult after he shot his wife's hat thinking it was a rat. The hat was on his wife's head at the time. The same man had previously shot himself in the foot while trying to shoot a rat.

14. Kansas- A man was charged with holding up a shoe store. He stole about 70$ in shoes. At his trial the man showed up wearing the boots he stole, with the tags still on. He was found guilty and the shoes were returned to the store.

15. Bangkok, Thailand- After stealing a woman's purse, a man ran into a building that he thought was a Buddhist Temple. He figured that he couldn't be arrested in there. Unfortunately for him the building was a police station. He was arrested.

Take a Step Backwards - Go ON Forward

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Backup Five Steps

I will be here tomorrow - Wednesday, Feb. 09, 2005

Gosh I think I am able to breath - Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2004

That is my relative, ziggy - Monday, Nov. 01, 2004

no bright eyes but always bushy tail - Thursday, Oct. 28, 2004

litte update from me.... - Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004

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