Randon Entries:

Me again Vern.........
TIME: 10:46 p.m.

DATE: Sunday, Feb. 09, 2003



I am feeling: <


One Year ago Today Quotes or thoughts: "Happy Birthday to you, da pimp"
Last Year's Entry Link:
Casey�s Birthday



TODAY'S HEADLINES, HILARIOUS JUNK, AND SIDE STORIES

As you can see I kinda made up for lost time. I have been doing stuff with the internet but I used mostly Word document. The reason is lately there has been some prank phone calls on phone line and I lose my connection. It has happen more then once.

SO that is why. I am so well......I am happy but I have been busy making a new web page stuff but I decided not to do that right at this time. I don't have much free times on my hands even though I don't get as many hours as I would like to.

I finally know I can pay for my car insurance but then guess what also came about.....Yep my car is messed up. Yep my friends, goodness. When it starts up it revs a lot up and down and the last time I drove it, it did it while I was standing still like it is coughing and probably will shut off. Dad says it is a sensor. Please say that sensor is NOT going to be expensive...Please let it to be cheap. Gosh worried about financial stuff is crazy. What pisses me off is when well everybody I have talk to say this round about answer "That is life" or "That is about owning a car"> I know that is about owning a car and all that crap....Sometimes I just want to hear some body say I know that this is a bad stump in the road but you will get over it.......I just want to hear that....

Did you miss me for awhile. I know that you think I am weirdo. For past five days I have been looking up jokes and it is easy to do that. Once a page is up with fifty jokes, I can read them even though the internet is down.

YOu know what I come to the conclusion that well I don't have a life. I go to work and I come home. I don't have any friends to talk to or to go anywhere. I don't have much to spend anyways. It is really lonely. This weekend at work has been so bad and plus I am on my period and ending it so I Think I feel awful this past week because of that. When I have my monthly friend, I just don't want to do anything.....I just feel so blah. Thank goodness it has stop last night...

Next week you are going to see a better me. For now.....Here are some jokes that are hilarious....

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.

"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.

"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"

"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money."

10 Things Men Won't Say

1. Let's watch Lifetime! 2. Sex is overrated. 3. I don't want to go too far on the first date. 4. Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours. 5. There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book. 6. I'm glad I don't have a large penis. 7. My hips are too big. 8. Aw, can't we watch Oprah? 9. Does this suit make me look fat? 10. I'll never get tired listening to Celine Dion.

60 Things Not to Say to a Naked Guy

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it's cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don't we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It's more fun to look at. 7. Make it dance. 8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that. 9. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 10. It looks like a night crawler. 11. Wow, and your feet are so big. 12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger. 13. It's ok, we'll work around it. 14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim? 15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh. 16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? 17. Oh no, a flash headache. 18. (giggle and point) 19. Can I be honest with you? 20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that. 21. Let me go get my tweezers. 22. How sweet, you brought incense. 23. This explains your car. 24. You must be a growing boy. 25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow. 26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick. 27. Are you one of those pygmies? 28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow? 29. Every heard of clearasil? 30. All right, a treasure hunt! 31. I didn't know they came that small. 32. Why is God punishing you? 33. At least this won't take long. 34. I never saw one like that before. 35. What do you call this? 36. But it still works, right? 37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting. 38. It looks so unused. 39. Do you take steroids? 40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it. 41. Maybe it looks better in natural light. 42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes? 43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident. 44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt? 45. Aww, it's hiding. 46. Are you cold? 47. If you get me real drunk first. 48. Is that an optical illusion? 49. What is that? 50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry. 51. Were you neutered? 52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents. 53. Does it come with an air pump? 54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality. 55. Where are the puppet strings? 56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun. 57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes. 58. Never mind, why bother. 59. Is that a second belly button? 60. Where's the rest of it?

There was a dentist, an electrician, a salesperson, and a carpenter that met everyday for breakfast at a low income diner. They were all married except the salesman. When he was married, he went on his honeymoon with his wife. The other three still met for breakfast when he was gone. An idea came up to play some practical jokes on the new married person.

"I'll make his bed slant so his bed will collapse when he is making love," said the carpenter.

"I'll hot wire his mattress so that he'll feel immence heat while making love.'

"Those are good ideas," said the dentist. "But I am not going to tell you what I'm going to do.'

The next day the salesman comes into the diner. He says "I congratulate you guys for making my bed collapse, and I thank you for making my bed really hot, but I'm going to kill the bastard who put novocaine in the vaseline."

Dear Tide,

I have always used your product ever since my college days, because mom says it was the best. One weekend about a month ago, I was at my girlfriend's place, wearing my new white shirt. Much to my chagrin, I spilled some red wine on my white shirt. She made a comment about my drinking problem, one thing lead to another, and soon I had her blood all over my not-so-nice white shirt. I tried washing it with her detergent, and it just didn't do the trick. So, on my way home, I stopped at the store and picked up a box of new Ultra Tide. It washed the stain so well that the DNA tests were entirely inconclusive! I can't praise your product enough. Thank you for saving my life! I must go now. I also have to send my praise to the makers of Hefty garbage bags...

Thanks again!

John Smith

Take a Step Backwards - Go ON Forward

0 Any cool comments about this wacky entry!



Picture, Quote, JOke, or crazy thing for today:




Backup Five Steps

I will be here tomorrow - Wednesday, Feb. 09, 2005

Gosh I think I am able to breath - Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2004

That is my relative, ziggy - Monday, Nov. 01, 2004

no bright eyes but always bushy tail - Thursday, Oct. 28, 2004

litte update from me.... - Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004

Other Diaryrings are below!!!
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Diaryrings: ME
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